


All That Matters

by cadkitten



Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Alcohol, Drabble, Homophobia, M/M, Masturbation, Masturbation in Bathroom, Repression, Smoking, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 20:50:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13725723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: Management keeps them from showing their true selves, but Die and Toshiya find a way to hedge around the edges of the rules.





	All That Matters

**Author's Note:**

  * For [antiprincess000](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=antiprincess000), [Hatred000](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hatred000/gifts).



> Requested Drabble for your birthday. I hope it's a wonderful birthday

Toshiya's head hit the metal wall behind him with a dull thud. His hips arched up and he huffed out a desperate sounding breath. 

Every huff of breath brought forth the scent of stale tobacco and cheap beer. Somewhere at the edges of his senses he found the barest hint of whiskey - not the cheap shit - and a scent he was achingly used to. A cologne he'd purchased for the person in question.

His hand rushed faster over his cock, the metal behind him creaking as he arched away from it, chasing his own fist. He bit off the whine that wanted out, kept it at a choked little exhale - it could have passed as a cough. His cheeks heated and he couldn't help the way he beat off faster, the way his hand hit his jeans in the most obvious sound in the world.

There was a hitch of breath from the next stall over and Toshiya bit hard into his lower lip to keep his words at bay, to hold them off for one more day. It was always a struggle, an absurd fight to keep his desires to himself. 

They were walking a rocky cliff even like this. Management had about had Die's head the first time he was caught kissing a guy. There'd been threats of dropping him from the band, yelled accusations behind closed doors that didn't muffle any of what was being said. There'd been tears and angry confessions and then there'd been slamming doors and Die's retreating back.

For weeks the future of everything had hinged on if Die would return or not, all of them forbidden from contacting him though not one of them paid any attention to that particular order. When Toshiya had ended up on Die's doorstep, he'd found him stone cold sober, so little life left in his eyes Toshiya had been scared for him before he'd ever stepped foot over the threshold. 

It had been there, in the quiet of the foyer that he'd confessed his own secret to Die, whispered it into his fellow musician's hair as they clung to one another, Die's shoulders shaking with repressed emotion, Toshiya's throat tight with his words.

He supposed it had been an easy line from there to here, from Die being forced back into his old ways and Toshiya giving him one place to speak about it all the way to these stolen moment in whichever bar they called home for the evening. 

Usually it was Die who needed these meetings, who needed to hear Toshiya's shuddered gasps as he plunged himself over the edge. Tonight, it was Toshiya who needed the reprieve.

His hand stroked quicker, his hips pushing up against his hand and he gave a strangled little moan as his balls tightened, everything prepping him for orgasm. 

"Do it." Die's voice, so close to him yet so far away, a wall separating them from the view, from the touch they both wanted. It was a compromise, one built off the idea that this wasn't specifically banned from them, that this wouldn't get them sent to the chopping block.

Toshiya slammed his head back against the wall and jerked his hips forward into his own grip. He couldn't hear Die's brand of physical comfort tonight, didn't hear the clink of his belt or the hitch in his breath, but he knew, all the same, that he would follow Toshiya over the edge soon enough.

With a rough groan, Toshiya's hips jerked forward and then he was cumming, his cum raining down on the floor in front of him as he stroked through it, fighting for every breath until he was through it. 

He slicked the last bit of his cum from his cock and flicked his fingers to get the rest off.

He'd barely started to catch his breath when he heard the quietest hitch of breath and the creak of the toilet seat, telling him Die was cumming and he allowed himself the image of it, the idea that Die might shoot all over his own stomach, might even enjoy quietly rubbing it into his skin afterward. 

A satisfied little burn settled low in his belly and he shoved away from the wall, fastened his pants, and left the stall. 

This was it, this was their little two man rebellion and while it'd never make a lick of difference to anyone else, it did for them. As far as he was concerned, that was all that mattered. All that ever would and all that ever had.


End file.
